Four Poems
Natalie Ann Armstrong

Spring 2019

Netflix n chill watch my DMTV Exo Planet
         In the clouds             These undiscovered planets
     my favorite pill                    These green pastures
         is Earth                        This new land
         Jupiter                       This great deal
         Mars                             Art of the Steal
         Venus                        Known planets
         Uranus                          Goldilocks planet
             Earth pill                 Too hot
               Your pill               Too cold
                 Sugar pill          Just right
                          Cyanide pill  
As round as it’s the first of the year and you won’t change a thing

                   Desert world
                Mystical World
                Dream world
                   Flower world
                   Night world


We drank beer on Southside Park Island
after you came home with a raft
a shop keeper
tried to sell you the world’s smallest pillow 

At midnight
On the porch you blew up the raft
we walked two blocks
in the Winter
and rowed our partially inflated boat
in the city lake
Rotten water spilled into the boat
We tied off the boat
and wandered to the middle of the island
and sat in the middle of the thorn bushes
in the dark
You said maybe drones could see us there


I want to throw a grappling hook
up to the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
and hoist myself up
past all the things in the middle


Kratom-in-the Sky with Diamonds Green- And I-Just-Can’t Cope-A-Cabana is the color of the yellow nail polish I hold in my hands on my way to the plasma donation center. I’ll meet you on the road in brilliant emerald green.  If you meet her when you’re on the road…Lonely God. Why green? Why am I here and not there with you? Why am I me and why are you-you? 18 types of green flowers. Hellebores I’m in hell and oh my god the leathery leaves protect a tiny circle of petals like so. Repeat after me: swimming salmon swimming salmon swimming salmon. Long blooming melodramatic period am I ever over? From ash white pieces of paper tissue, to purple balloons in the collaborative depths of my lonely undertakings in this season. Well drained tips sitting cross legged on my bed in the evening listening to binaural beats with a hand full of light green tea roses. 1867 roses. Prior to the existence of contemporary roses, a modern classic. An endless color selection of roses. I can’t afford the color green or the luxury of every color of roses but I snap a picture on my cellphone in the grocery store of the cartoon of light purple roses with soft petals and brilliant plasticine coverings. Lonely God. Do I get 5 hours of sun? 5 minutes of sun in the future we will all have 5 minutes. Carnations in green are popular as well for the spectrum of color they come in. Full serrated leaves and stalky stems. Cymbidium orchid. Difficult to care for. Needing protection. Yes, I play the d (please) r (don’t) ums (countonmefor anything). Daylilies with delicate stems, ever growing, ever knowing, full of kindness and begging you for sympathy. Gladiolus hortulanus, dianthus, dianthus, Anastasia, (the fake name I give out at parties). Lonely God. Bells of Ireland and calla lily. If you don’t want to watch this William Boroughs documentary on my laptop you can just ride your skateboard home. Calibrating my illness again during the same time every year. Every morning or so I would drink the dirt-flavored liquid. In my head I say, “This is good for me.” I participate in green activities. I don’t remember what envy feels like. I’m happy to be anywhere at all. Please don’t count on me for anything at all. Shoutout to my last Finsta and all the others. Gurdjieff's theory of multiple social media platforms. Grief turns my clock around in digital military time. Veterans of masochistic behavior and copies of ancient Egyptian manuscripts. I’ll live in the green hell. At least the rent is free. At least it’s beautiful. At the very least cut the greenery off the flowers and arrange them in the shape of a large praying mantis. The disdain in my voice: Green. His clothes: Whack Him: Whack. Me: I’m tight as fuck.

Monday Nov 5 2018